Well, after starting this I have had a lot going on. My daughter had to have surgery, so I was tied up and wore out with all of that. I have questioned whether or not to message my dad to let him know, but I still feel really let down and hurt by all that has happened in that area of my life and feel like he won't really care anyway so why bother. 
   I have been looking into some herbal medicines that I may be able to take to help with the depression and "mild" bi-polar disorder since I will be out of my antidepressants in less than a week. I ordered a couple of things that I hope will do the trick in that area.
   I get so down because I don't have any girl friends to talk to and go do things with except for one, and half the time I don't want to talk to her because all she wants to talk about are her aches and pains and getting medicine for her anxiety or pain. I understand that she needs those things, but as a recovering addict I do not want it thrown in my face all the time and I certainly don't want to talk about it all the time. I get the feeling sometimes that she is trying to bring me down to that level again. I can tell her I don't want to discuss the subject and why, and she will do good for about 3 days and then BLAM! she's at it again. Not to mention when I want to talk to her about anything she constantly interrupts me, I don't know if I have ever been able to tell her a full "story" without being interrupted by her. Anyway , I was thinking that I might get online and see if I can find a chat room that might have some women that live around here that I might be able to become friends with, we'll see.
   I know I can talk to my husband about anything, but some things are just better if they are shared with another woman, I feel anyways.
   It has been another all niter for me last night and I am really getting sleepy, but I know if I sleep now I will be up all night again, so I will try my best to stay up all day and just call it an early night tonight.